Teaching Children to Love and Serve One Another

Mosiah 4:14-15

“And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the devil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness.

But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another"

Why is it important that we teach our children to love and serve one another?

Because love is the great commandment, it ought to be at the center of all and everything we do in our own family, in our Church callings, and in our livelihood.

The Love of God, Dieter F. Uchtdorf

“Love one another; as I have loved you” (John 13:34). On this simple phrase hangs the success of every marriage and family. In the light of Christ’s love we see our family’s divine potential. We love them with all our heart, soul, and mind. And as we do, our ordinary family is transformed into an extraordinary one.

www.lds.org/family/love

How did the Savior teach us to love and serve one another?

Jesus provided us many examples of compassionate concern.The crippled man at the pool of Bethesda; the woman taken in adultery; the woman at Jacob's well; the daughter of Jairus; Lazarus, brother of Mary and Martha—each represented a casualty on the Jericho road. Each needed help.”

Examples of Great Teachers, Thomas S. Monson

Click here to view videos that depict stories from the Savior's life.

What are some things that make it difficult

to teach our children to love and serve one another?

The greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love. The ideal God holds for us is to form families in the way most likely to lead to happiness and away from sorrow.”

Our Perfect Example, Henry B. Eyring

There are so many people in need whom we could be thinking about instead of ourselves. And please don’t ever forget your own family, your own wife. There are so many ways we could be serving. We have no time to become absorbed in ourselves.”

Pride and the Priesthood, Dieter F. Uchtdorf

What resources are available to help us teach our children?

Scriptures, Ensign, words of the prophets, www.lds.org, attending our church meetings, library

What can we do as an individual or as spouses to help love and service to be part of our family life?

1)We have to make the choice that we WANT it.

2)We have to have the companionship of the Holy Ghost. We must listen to the Spirit and then we need to obey the spirit.

(See Elder Wirthlin's talk from May 2003 General Conference)

3)We need to make a plan. We need to take time to think about our children’s needs, strengths, weaknesses, desires, challenges. We can then identify what we need to focus our efforts on and make a plan that will best fit our family.

4)We need to seek answers in our prayers, in the scriptures, at the temple, at General Conference, in our Sunday meetings, and in Relief Society.

5)We need to listen to our children. Parent/child interviews are one way to do this.

6)We need to continue to seek knowledge and learn about how to be the parents we want to be.

What are additional factors we should consider

when making a family plan to increase love?

1)Have ideals, identify how you want your family to be. This will give you goals to work towards.

“Throughout your life on earth, seek diligently to fulfill the

fundamental purposes of this life through the ideal family.”

Elder Scott

2. Create the right physical environment (removing things that increase contention, adding things that increase love)

3. Create opportunities to practice loving and serving.
Family Home Evening Lesson on "Love at Home"

4. Evaluate current methods of discipline and looking into new options

5. Make sure that there is a balance in family life.  One of our family sayings is:

“The family that prays, works, and plays together stays together.”

Family Scripture Study

"As we teach from the scriptures, it is important that the children have their own set of scriptures so that they can hold them, turn the pages, and read the words of the Lord directly. Having their own scriptures, they can mark them, become familiar with them, and feel the Spirit from them. They need not be expensive books—the simple economy editions contain the same truth as the leather-bound versions—but let them have their own."

Lant, Cheryl C. “Families Anchored in the Scriptures” 2006 BYU Women’s Conference

1)Everybody needs their own set of scriptures.
My 1 ½ year old is the first one to grab his scriptures when we announce that it is time for scripture study. He has the pocket size version of the Book of Mormon. Our 5 year old uses missionary scriptures. Our other children have received a nicer set at the time of their baptism.

2)As a family, decide when and where your family is going to have scripture study.
Common times are in the morning, at dinner, or at bedtime. Places include a living/family room, at the kitchen table, or in a bedroom. Try to have a place to keep the scriptures in the room where you are going to study. For example, we keep ours on a bookshelf in the living room. Also, make sure your study is the right length of time for members of your family.

Sister Beck shared the following story about this she said: “I had a wonderful young mother approach me. She had four children under the age of six, and she said, “We are being faithful in trying to have our family scripture study every morning, but it’s just a disaster. Somebody’s always crying; they don’t pay attention.” And I said, “How long are you trying to do this?” She said, “Well, we set a goal to do 10 minutes every day.” Trying to ease her worry, I said, “Well, with the audience you have, you’re probably about 8 minutes to long.””

Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting, February 9, 2008

3)Decide what you are going to study.
There are so many ideas on this. Here are a few:

-The 2008 January Friend has an outline for this whole year to read specific chapters in the Book of Mormon.
-Read chronologically or on specific subjects.
-Read scriptures throughout the week pertaining to FHE lesson, talks from sacrament meeting, or from lessons in Sunday school, Primary, and Relief Society or topics that your family needs to learn about, Preach my Gospel.
-Use the gospel art kit.
-Using the Bible Dictionary or the Topical Guide.
-Help children reach goals in Faith In God, Duty to God, or Personal Progress
-Study the scriptures found at the end of Hymns or Primary songs
-Places to find more ideas listed below.


4)Decide how you are going to study
-Invite missionaries to come to your home or have an enrichment to teach scripture marking techniques.

-Have something for members of the family to mark scriptures with (colored pencils).

Ideas for younger children:
-Divide the books by colors on the edges.
-Have them look for specific words in the chapters.
-You can teach sight words and then look for those words.
-Draw simple pictures about the story in light colors.
-Rotate scriptures around when everyone takes turns or rotate seats.
-Have something that they can chart their progress with.
-Stop and give a brief explanation of background information
-Have them look at pictures from the scripture readers or pictures from the gospel art kit

Older children and adults
Learn meaning of abbreviations and highlight.
Mark all references to the Savior.
Find different names for the Savior.
Mark commandments and blessings.
Come up with color coding system
Find scripture chains.
Study out of the Bible dictionary.

Use Preach My Gospel as a study companion.
Keep a scripture journal and record impressions.

5)Take time as a family to identify how reading the scriptures together has blessed your family.

Never let a day go by without holding family prayer and family scripture study. Put this, the Lord’s program, to the test; and see if it does not bless your home with greater peace, hope, love, and faith.
“I promise you that daily family prayer and scripture study will build within the walls of your home a security and bonding that will enrich your lives and prepare your families to meet the challenges of today and the eternities to come.”

Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Back to Gospel Basics,” Ensign, May 1993, 92.

Resources for family scripture study
“Scripture Study with Children,” Ensign, Feb. 2004, 71
“Enjoying Scriptures with Small Children,” Ensign, Feb. 1986, 69
“Scripture Study While You Wait,” Ensign, Feb. 1987, 65
“Toast, Tapes, and Scripture Study,” Ensign, June 1987, 67
“A Head Full of Scriptures,” Ensign, Mar. 1988, 66
“Family Scripture Club,” Ensign, Feb. 1989, 71
“Beating the Scripture-Study Squeeze,” Ensign, Apr. 1992, 73
“A Chapter a Day,” Ensign, Jan. 1994, 72
“Reading the Scriptures Aloud,” Ensign, Oct. 1994, 72
“Enlivening Scripture Study,” Ensign, Feb. 1995, 73
“Scriptures Speak to Children,” Ensign, July 1995, 73
“Scriptures by the Month,” Ensign, Oct. 1995, 71
“One-Minute-a-Day Church History,” Ensign, Mar. 1998, 72
“Enjoying the Scriptures Together,” Ensign, Apr. 1998, 72
“Scripture Sharing,” Ensign, June 1998, 74
“Easter All Week,” Ensign, Apr. 1999, 56
“A Time Line for the Scriptures,” Ensign, June 2003, 73
“Scripture Study with Children,” Ensign, Feb. 2004, 71
“The Art of Scripture Study,” Ensign, Aug. 1989, 71
“Scripture Chases for Children,” Ensign, Sept. 1999, 73
Keeping Scripture Study Alive,” Ensign, Aug 2008, 17–19
Debra L. Adams, “Changing Behavior—One Verse at a Time,” Ensign, Feb 2008, 50–52

Family Home Evening

1)Identify what you want to have happen at family home evening.
What are you going to learn about?

President Hinckley has counseled to use the General Conference talks. He said "All of the proceedings of this conference will appear in a subsequent issue of the Ensign and Liahona. We encourage you again to read the talks in your family home evenings and discuss them together as families. They are the products of much prayer and meditation and are well worthy of careful consideration. "
Gordon B. Hinckley, “Closing Remarks,” Ensign, Nov 2007, 108


Other ideas for family home evening topics:
Church magazines –all have suggestions for FHE use.
Monthly Primary theme
Preparing for an important event (baptism, arrival of a baby, mission)
Family Home Evening manual
Topics from our Sunday lessons and talks
Faith in God
Duty to God
Personal Progress
For the Strength of Youth
Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts
Preach my Gospel
Gospel Principles
Holidays
Culture
Emergency Prep
Provident Living

Writing missionaries

Genealogy

Recording personal history information

3)Make a schedule –we usually do 2-3 months at a time
What works best for us is to have assigned resources for each week of the month. For example, right now on the 1st Monday of the month is an activity from the Faith in God book or Duty to God (depending on who is assigned the lesson), the 2nd and 3rd Mondays are talks from General Conference, the 4th Monday is the monthly Primary theme, and if we have a 5th Monday we try to do a service project. Then using some kind of chart everyone gets an assignment for each family home evening.

What works best for our family is to spend Sundays or 1 Monday every 2-3 months planning upcoming FHEs- (“Planning Family Home Evening Together,” Ensign, Aug. 2000, 70)
Each child has a folder to keep his/her lesson materials together.

They are given their topics and then they can prepare. They can even pick out hymns/songs, scriptures that go along with the lesson and decide on refreshments, etc. We usually partner up with the younger children to help them with their lesson plans.

At family council on Sunday evenings we review assignments for next night.

Family home evening resources
“Family Home Evening Helps: Five Family History Activities,” Ensign, Feb. 2004, 72
“The Encouragement Council,” Ensign, June 1987, 68
“Home Evening Missions,” Ensign, Sept. 1989, 70
“Home Evening Helper,” Ensign, Jan. 1990, 75
“Chapter-a-Week Home Evening,” Ensign, Feb. 1990, 72
“Lightening Up Family Home Evening,” Ensign, Feb. 1992, 64
“Threefold Family Home Evening,” Ensign, June 1992, 72
“Better Home Evenings—Plan on It,” Ensign, Aug. 1993, 65
“One-Quote Gospel Lessons,” Ensign, Apr. 1995, 73
Family Home Evening: Hero of the Month,” Ensign, Feb. 1996, 73
Five-Minute Lessons on Life Skills,” Ensign, July 1998, 71
An Evening Abroad,” Ensign, Apr. 2000, 68
Double-Duty Lessons,” Ensign, Apr. 1999, 57
Family Home Evening: Our Conference Gift,” Ensign, Oct. 1996,
“Teaching the Mission of the Church,” Ensign, July 1997, 68
“Our Home Evening History,” Ensign, Feb. 1998, 72
“Using Ensign Art,” Ensign, Oct. 1998, 72
Looking for a Family Home Evening Lesson?” Ensign, July 1999, 22
“Planning Family Home Evening Together,” Ensign, Aug. 2000, 70
“Reclaiming Monday Nights,” Ensign, July 2002, 73
”Ready-Made Family Home Evening,” Ensign, Feb. 2003, 73
“Successful Family Home Evenings,” Ensign, June 2003, 7
“Four Tips for Family Home Evening,” Ensign, Aug. 2003, 69
“Family Home Evening Suggestion Box,” Ensign, Sept. 2004, 52
“Family Home Evening Helps: A Hymn and a Scripture,” Ensign, Sept. 2004, 73
“Family Home Evening Helps: Family Home Evening with Baby,” Ensign, Jan. 2005, 73
“Baby Home Evening,” Ensign, July 1990, 74
“Strengthening Our Children,” Ensign, Sept. 2000, 30
“Primarily for Family,” Ensign, July 2001, 71
“Family Home Evenings for Tots,” Ensign, Feb. 2002, 67
“Family Home Evening Helps: Helps for Young Children,” Ensign, Mar. 2006, 71
“Home Evening for Young Families,” Ensign, Feb. 1994, 72
“Family Home Evening: Visual Aids That Teach Twice,” Ensign, Apr. 1996, 71
“Family Home Evening Times Two,” Ensign, Apr. 2004, 73
“Involving Teens,” Ensign, Sept. 2003, 73
“The Golden Years of Family Home Evening,” Ensign, Feb. 1997, 66
Family Home Evening Helps: Family Night Surprise,” Ensign, Feb. 2007, 73
Heather Lee Lyman, “Family Home Evening Helps: Family Night—MTC Style,” Ensign, June 2007, 71
Jennifer Hansen, “Family Home Evening Helps: Military Mail,” Ensign, June 2008, 75